Okay, if you’re single and mingling, you must be aware of how rough it is out there. However, when you do happen to find someone you think you can just stand still with, past experience and hurt will always make you doubt what it is you have in your Mr. Someone New.

The thing is, as we grow older, we become less able to adapt and accommodate another’s intimate quirks and we then lose sight of the things that we actually need to make a relationship work.

Recently, a friend of mine asked me what I wanted in a boyfriend/ husband and after two failed serious relationships, I was worried that I was no where near closer to understanding who or what it was that I needed. Was it someone that had enough money to take care of me, someone that shared my values, or would I be happy with just a good person that is responsible. What is a good person? You see, the questions are endless and the answers, complicated.

To make things a little easier, I created a 10-point Checklist. I know people say you shouldn’t seek perfection, but I don’t see why you should settle for imperfection especially when life is so short and nothing, except death, is really guaranteed.

1. Does he prioritise you and your relationship?
2. He plans for a future that includes you.
3. During an argument, he compromises, and is keen to settle on a solution that works for both of you.
4. Is he respectful of you – your desires, your needs, your ambitions and your commitments?
5. Does he care about people? How does he treat the people closest to him?
6. When he’s stubborn and when you fight (and it happens), do you never feel disrespected?
7. Does he see the good in you, even when you don’t see it in yourself or when you don’t act like you’re good? (this is so important… I feel another post in this point).
8. How do you feel about him when you’re not with him? Its all good that he makes you feel like a princess when you’re together, but the true test is how you secure you feel when you’re not with him.
9. Do you have fun together? Do new and fun things together? If not, trust me, you’ll soon run out of new things to talk about and will eventually fade into the “It’s not you, its me,” conversation.
10. Does he say and act as though he loves you? No matter what the relationship books say, in my experience, its not enough to just act as though you do, because let’s face it, sometimes you act as though you don’t. Its as important to hear those words, as well.

Written by Crystal Svanikier (@nautyinaccra).